5 steps to SAVE your kids from failure
I am writing today from beautiful Maastricht, Netherlands as we prepare to run our annual program for the
Canadian Armed Forces families. It’s one of my favourite trips. One that I have now done 10 times and it’s an honour to be welcomed back here each year. With all of the travel to get here I was delayed in writing this week’s BLOG. It’s an important one. I hope you read and share.
We all want our kids to succeed. Our kids all want to succeed. I believe that we are at a crossroads in parenting and mentoring our current generation of young people. As parents we are not doing our children any favours by wrapping our kids in bubble wrap and “protecting” them from challenges and struggles. I have been reflecting on what my mission is;it’s my goal that through the work of
YLCC we will positively affect the next generation. We run a number of programs that allow student and educators to learn and grow. Like the upcoming
BC leadership Seminars in Surrey, Kelowna and Victoria, BC, The
SPARK Leadership Conferences at Canada’s Wonderland, and of course the
Spring Ontario Student Leadership Conference in Kingston, Ontario. These are ALL important and STUpendous programs.
The real challenge is getting parents to understand that the real leadership journey starts at home. It’s about how we challenge our children and how we hold them accountable for their choices, actions, and reactions. I put together my list of the 5 MOST important tips to help raise kids that are better prepared to succeed and thrive in their years ahead.
The 5 TIPS to make sure your children survive and thrive!
1. GREEN IS GOLD
Let them, encourage them to be outside. We need to ensure that our kids spend as much time as they can outside. Not just the walk to school, but that they go for hikes and go to green spaces. Research is overwhelming regarding the positive links between green spaces and better mental health. Lace up your outside shoes and go for a walk in the park, the woods or along the river. If you can, do it without the use of technology as well.
2. NO BYTES WHEN EATING
Tech free family times – This one is HUGE! Have a basket OUTSIDE your family eating area that EVERYONE places their phones in, and enables silent or airplane mode so devices don’t reappear at the table during eating time. This is a game changer. Encourage conversation. This is a lost art for many humans. How was your day? Tell me 5 things you are thankful for today? IF we could go anywhere for a family trip where would we go? Who inspires you? What made you laugh today? These are all questions you should ask around the dinner table! Try and lock away that time to be together. If it can’t be meal time, try long drives or family game night.
IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE: I also encourage parents to keep phones out of kids beds. Sleep time is tech free time as well.
3. STUpendous STUMBLES
Allow your child to fail, fall and then figure it out. I know it hurts. I get it. No one wants to see their child struggle. BUT, they need to! They need to figure out what it feels like, to understand that mistakes and failures are part of life. Stumbles are part of becoming an adult, a successful student, and a good parent or caregiver themselves one day. Remind then that in most cases these “failures” will not matter in 1-5 years, but what they learned from it will. Even when your kids say to you, “You don’t understand!” it’s hard to hear but remember you failed, you faltered and you survived. So don’t rush to the school to demand your child be given a better mark! Do not call the coach and demand more playing time. Help them figure out what THEY need to do to get better and resolve their own issues.
4. GIVE THE GIFT OF THE UNKNOWN
Experience new things together! Take your children to places, events, restaurants, and cultural things that are new and out of their (and perhaps your) comfort zones. If we want our children to aspire for more, show them there is MORE out there. I heard a great quote once that said, “If you want to cure racism, travel!” Our world is changing even though there are politicians and pundits trying to take the world backwards. You as a parent need to take your kids to places and give them experiences that will help learn about differences in culture. They will be better for it. So will you.
5. WORKING WINS!
Encourage them to get a job! Allow them to work! Don’t just hand your child money because it’s easy. A part time job throughout the school year is game changer. A summer job is a life changer. I hire about one hundred 17 to 21 years olds every year and find it harder and harder to convince the parents that working is a good thing. It teaches them independence and responsibility. Make sure they save money and buy the things they want. They will have pride in ownership and probably have a better understand that money is real and has more value than the number on the bill. Yes, it’s easier to give your kids everything, but it’s prescription for negative future growth.
We are currently hiring staff for the spring, summer, and fall. There is no better way to learn about living on your own, making friends, and earning some money than working at summer camp. If you want more info feel free to click here and see what we have to offer.
You have an important role in bringing up your children in such a way that they thrive and survive. Don’t be afraid to be a bit tough, or to say no. Challenge them to grow beyond their comforts. Encourage them to be a good friend and be worldly. You will thank yourself later and, in the end, your child will be grateful!
In leadership and gratitude,
