The poison we put in our social media
Recently my news feed has been overwhelmingly negative. There’s been a lot of posts about the picture that was “found” in Virginia’s Governor, Ralph Northam’s university year book. If you’ve seen it you might agree that it’s a hard picture to look at; not only because of the blackface but also the KKK outfit worn by the other person in the photo.
There are calls by the public and opposition (rightfully so) for the Governor to resign or somehow “make it right”.
I am not going to wade into the debate on whether or not it is an old photo from “different” times. If you think blackface isn’t completely offside (which it is), the KKK outfit absolutely is. Even during these “different time” (the 80’s), a well educated 25 year old should have stopped, and thought, “is this appropriate”. Sadly, he didn’t he chose otherwise.
I would like to focus on the fact that this picture is more than 30 years old and it came back to haunt Northam. He knowingly posed for that picture. It was printed in a hard cover book that would be accessible, potentially forever. The decision he made to wear blackface and pose with a fellow student dressed as KKK became a permanent record; one that would be there for others to judge. He and others may argue that it was a different time or that they were young (Developmentally speaking, 25 is completely different then human mind of a kid in high school, or middle school.) Just because you didn’t know it was wrong, doesn’t make it right or ok.
Now, let’s look at us in our modern day society. To find the Governor’s yearbook took effort and time, but someone found it. In 2019, we document EVERYTHING and throw it into the court of public opinion without much care if it offends anyone or potentially has short or long term damaging effects. Many young people post pictures of themselves at parties doing drugs, drinking, making offensive gestures, in compromising positions, or wearing things that they probably shouldn’t…
These are, despite what you think, really easy to access by almost anyone. They also exist forever - You might have deleted the post, but a copy will always exists in caches or archives. We all know someone who’s had their account hacked. So yeah, your information and pictures are available.
Our bizarre obsession with documentation is unhealthy. I often hear people of my vintage saying, “I am glad iPhones or Instagram wasn’t around when I was in college.” When I hear you say that, I know you’re actually saying that you did stupid things at 21 that you or I would never do at 41. Truth is we all did – We just couldn’t document it as easily.
Trust me when I say many of the things that we find appropriate today will be viewed as inappropriate in 10 years. It’s a historical fact and it’s a good thing; a sign that we are growing as a culture.
So what concerns me most are two things: One, "I didn’t know it was wrong” or “it was a different time” may not hold up over time. It is true that there are things that can be explained away because of the generation it came from. In my opinion, it’s not always fair to judge the choices made or the verbiage used by someone in the 1940s through the privledged lens of 2019. Second, in the 21st century, knowing that these documented choices (like Governor Northam’s pictures from the 1990s) can come back and haunt you, why do we feel the need to post everything we do?
I always say to our camp staff and campers when you make decisions in life, if you start thinking, “Is this appropriate?” it probably isn’t. If you get an uneasy feeling then perhaps you need to reevaluate your actions, words, or post. The pictures and comments you make today could ruin your potential future career or relationships. They are like virtual tattoos, incredibly hard to remove.
No one is perfect. We all have said or done silly things – Mistakes. My hope is that maybe we could use a common sense and kindness filter as often as we use the vanity filters on Instagram. Stop and think, “Is this possibly wrong?” Perhaps if we just we tried to look at things through the lens of being a decent human we would all make better choices and everyone would be better off.
In leadership and gratitude,
