When I was young I was obsessed with having friends. I was often jealous of the more popular people I went to school with; those who had all the “cool” friends. I had a few friends. They were my neighbours and friends because of location.
As we progress through life we continually expand our friendship circle, or at least we should. It grows through elementary schools, high school, post secondary life, jobs, travel, etc. You start to realize that as you grow you have new and different likes, interests, and new types of friends. This is due to your perspective changing as you find new horizons.
I often find people who try to be friends with everyone. I was once one of them. You can’t please them all. It’s impossible to be there for all of them. The worst is when you start to keep score. You think that a “friend” isn’t treating you as well as another, or not giving you the time you “deserve”. When you start tracking these types of wins and losses, everyone loses.
I decided that what really matters is having a few good friends that don’t judge you. They love you, push you to be better and to grow as a person. It is said you are the sum total of the 5 people that you spend the most time with. If they are negative and judgemental so will you be. It’s hard to rise above that level of energy. The same goes with positive, fun, and healthy people – Choose wisely.
I suggest taking a inventory of your friends. You can also do this on your social media. Facebook, twitter and Instagram algorithms feed you content partly based on what you ‘like’ and what your friends ‘share’ and ‘like’. If they don’t share your direction, change the settings.
This doesn’t mean you should only have like-minded people in your life. It’s good to have different opinions of the world. However, be mindful of the ones that just bring you down or are simply angry, judgmental people. These are the type people I don’t have time for. While debate is great, I choose not to ride with those on the “victim bus” – they aren’t headed in my direction.
Get involved in groups at school and in your community (both online and off) that interest you. The connections you make here can change your life.
Sometimes the friends that got you to where you are, are not the ones that will take you to where you want to go. You don’t have to be mean to them, but move towards the people that will help you be STUpendous!
If you love leadership and becoming a better human consider coming to the
Global Student Leadership Summit in April, the
Spark Leadership Conference in May, or if you are out in beautiful BC look at the
BC Youth Leadership Seminars. I met my wife and some of my closest friends through leadership programs!
If you’re a parent looking to change the your children’s horizons consider
Youth Leadership Camps Canada. A summer camp that can have lasting positive impact.
So, remember: Don’t keep score, get involved, choose your friends and your own direction.
