What is family? Some would argue a family is blood relations. While I agree to an extent family is also those who teach and support you no matter what. My family has been nothing but supportive in the last few years while teaching me and preparing me for life.
My father was never really involved in my life and after sixteen rocky years my mother filed for divorce. She is the bravest woman I know and without her sacrificing her time to provide for my brothers and I there is no telling what would have happened. She has worked a lot of long hours leading to a load of stress on her and through these trials she taught me how to balance time and funds. I was taught the importance of saving money and the proper use of coupons while putting needs before wants. After 18 years of life my mom is my hero and it is a huge fear that I will lose her, she is one of the most amazing talented, strong, and brave women on this planet. Without her support and pushing me to do my best I would not be in the honors college or college at all. When my parents got divorced, she always made sure to tell my brothers and I that she loves us no matter what. When I realized how negative my relationship with my father was, she helped me get through the pain and drama of ending my relationship with my father.
A few years after her divorce my mother introduced Brian who has become a part of my family and added us to his. Brian works with my mom and he took us in like we were his own. I spent 17 years trying to get my father to say he was proud of me and to at least try to attend an event, whereas Brian immediately was asking to attend my events and he was always there to say he was proud or to reprimand when it was needed. In his family Brian is child 11 out of 12, he introduced us to his mother where a mutual love was immediately formed, from that day forward I was always excited to go to Nana’s house. All my newfound aunts and uncles were willing to answer questions and accept us into the family including trips across the country for thanksgiving. The feeling of having a family that accepted me for me was amazing, they loved me for who I am not because I did or didn’t play sports. In late 2017 Nana was diagnosed with cancer for the third time in her life, every visit became more meaningful and special. Brian taught us that family is far more than just blood. After a long battle Nana passed in February of 2019 and the entire family was devastated. Through the entire battle and the following funeral and recovery Brian never gave up having advice when we needed it or a shoulder to cry on if that was what we needed. Family is so much more than just blood and Brian has proven that in a big way.
When I first met Brian, I was a little punk and he made me realize that the way I behaved was wrong. He has taught me so much about being a man but also a gentleman. He taught me the proper way to wear a suit and date etiquette. I have become so much more responsible because of his and my mother’s influence. When I started my path of admissions here at YSU my mom was out of practice because it had been a long time since she went to college and Brian had never been to college but they were there every step of the way answering questions they could and helping me find resources when they could not. I doubted myself believing I was not good enough but my brothers, my mom and Brian pushed me and encouraged me. When move in day arrived, we all loaded the car and headed out, Brian pulled me aside and reminded me that even though I am almost three hours away I can always call home with questions or just to chat. Brian and my mom have sent food or little things I have forgotten to help me be successful during this change in my life. I will never be the man Brian is but with my family’s support and dedication I can be the best possible version of myself.
Family is more than just blood it is those who support you and provide the essentials for growth. My mother is so much more than a mom. She is a reference, a friend and a shoulder to cry on when it is needed. When my blood family in the form of my father failed me, I discovered family is so much more than biology and genetics, Brian and his family let me become part of the family. These new members and my mom and brothers have supported me this far and always will. The truest form of family is the group of people that loves each other unconditionally without hesitation.
- Patrick Ryan, 2019