Living with roommates

Maybe you've done this before. Maybe you haven't. Either way, Housing Services wants to make sure your living environment is as comfortable as possible. There are plenty of ways to help ensure a conflict-free, pleasant environment for you and your roommates. Check out some of our resources for successful cohabitation below.

Tips for Success

1. Set Expectations Early On

As early as possible, make a point to sit down and discuss expectations. Discussing your expections about cleanliness, shared belongings, visitors, etc. can prevent misunderstandings down the line.

2. Make a Point to Get to Know One Another

Try to schedule a monthly roommate hangout or dinner. The more you know your roommates, the more comfortable you will be communicating with one another.

3. Address Problems in the Moment

If your roommate is doing/saying something that bothers you, speak up quickly and respectfully. Waiting to address the issue or avoiding the issue entirely can build animosity. All that built-up tension will make it more difficult to keep your cool.

Actions to Avoid

1. Don't Assume. Ask.

You might be tempted to "borrow" some laundry detergent or to grab one of your roomates' snacks. You might assume that it's no big deal, but these small assumptions can lead to big conflict. Always ask permission, no matter how insignificant it may seem.

2. Don't Be the Note-Leaver

Confrontation is hard, but it's necessary. Don't leave notes as a substitute for in-person communication. Leaving a note can often be viewed as passive-aggressive, and leaves no opportunity for explanations or conversation.

3. Don't Expect Change Overnight

You and your roommates have had a lifetime to develop your own living habits and practices. As you navigate new agreed upon guidelines and make compromises, be patient with each other. It's likely you'll all slip up from time to time.

Templates & Tools

UCSF Principles of Community

Roommate Expectations Discussion List

Overnight Guest Agreement Form

Chore Chart Templates

Foundations of Successful Shared Living

Communication

Whether setting expectations, building friendships, or resolving disagreements, you have to be willing to talk. Expect to communicate honestly and openly with all of your roommates.

Respect

It seems obvious, but it's important to remember to be respectful. Respect each others differences, preferences, and property. Life can get busy, and we can mess up at times, but it's essential that we all do our best to act respectfully to each other.

Flexibility

We're all coming from different places and have our own expectations. Remember that a little patience will go a long way, and that people are typically acting with good intentions. Compromise when you can, and grant people the benefit of the doubt.

Looking for more?

visit Housing.ucsf.edu
phone: 415.514.4550
email: housing@ucsf.edu